Batteries not included

There is a toy being stored in my inlaws' guest bedroom that I had the unfortunate experience of bumping into in the middle of the night. "Oooone Two Threeee Four Five Six Sev'n Eight Nine Tinhnnnnnn" it loudly sang out for about four seconds. WHY? I wonder. How could a child learn to count to ten from a toy that rushes through it in four seconds? So I tried my own experiment. Playing with my niece, I found a toy that would say the alphabet. She loves pushing buttons and seeing things light up, but she did not seem to pay attention to the alphabet. Before laying her down for her afternoon nap, I held her in my arms and sung the ABC's. She quickly became uninterested in pulling my eyeglasses off my face and listened to me sing. She was QUIET, and STILL!! My study may not be very scientific, but I believe that she was more attentive to a human voice singing the alphabet than a toy that shouts hyperactively as she pushes buttons.

I believe that limiting battery operated toys will encourage Graham's imagination, lessen our environmental impact, and strengthen bonding and interaction between Graham and us parents. There are many wonderful wooden toys that encourage puzzle solving in small children, such as this toy snake on my registry:



Babies twist the wooden pieces to shape the curves of the worm's body differently. I plan to introduce this toy to Graham as soon as he starts playing with his own fingers in front of his chest (about four months). I am excited about playing with it too. Sometimes fascination can be found in simple objects.




Some toys could encourage imagination by limiting the noises they produce. This phone, for example, makes a lot less noises than other toy phones. I prefer a toy that does not say "Hello" when you push a button, so that my child will create his own conversation. I may decide to take the batteries out of this toy so that it does not ring, but there are other ways this toy can be fascinating to children. The bright colors, mirror, different textures, and teether rings would be interesting enough, without the noises. I was perfectly content playing with my pink phone that did not have batteries as a child. I liked talking on the phone to no one, just like I had observed my mom talking to the phone.

Then there are classic children's toys that were created before the wide spread use of batteries. These can be bath toys, counting tools, stacking objects, knocking down towers, a shape lesson... A creative parent or an imaginative child could come up with different ways to play with such a simple toy. One parent on Amazon suggested using them to build sand castles! Another parent observed that these cups have a color pattern. They are also BPA, PVC and phthalate free and make good chew toys for teething babies.



There are a few things that I would like batteries for, such as this adorable soothing sea horse. I have played with it at Walmart so I know that the night light on the tummy is very soft and mellow. The music is also very quiet, useful in quieting the baby as he wants to listen to the soothing sounds of waves. I plan to put Graham down to sleep in his portable crib before he is completely asleep, so this cute little soother would keep him company.



Battery operated toys are easier on the parent, but personal interaction is a much better way to learn. I'll be singing to Graham a lot and personally be sitting on the floor with him to show him shapes and colors, instead of his toys loudly announcing what shape the button was that he just pushed. Instead of pushing a car around the house that makes racecar noises, I want Graham to make the noises and imagine racing tracks and other opponents on his track. An imagination will be an important asset for a child who will have fewer belongings while travelling and who will be learning more from experiences than textbooks.

Westy Dream

Im thinking about selling my 40th generation, 2004 Mustang GT convertible, so that we can get a VW Westfalia from the 1970's. We could get about $10,000 for my car, buy a Westy for $6,000, make some changes and repairs with the help of my father in law, and live on the road. John and I have spent a lot of our most recent road trip (from Pensacola, to Panama City Beach for SCUBA, to Crystal River for snorkeling with manatees)fantasizing about owning a Westy. We've come up with a pretty sexy plan:




1970's Westy with bug trailer. We'd rather not have a trailer, but we might need one.







Pop top with solar panel that charges extra battery








Back seat lays down into a bed and lifts up for storage. Collapsible table functions as dining room table and school/office desk.








Stove, mini fridge, sink, and cupboard for cooking at camp or on the road.







Bike rack


We would need to bring along gear for camping, SCUBA/spearfishing, Graham's homeschooling, John's business, my sewing machine and hobbies, and our clothes/toiletries. Graham will have to become accustomed to having more puzzles than video games, visiting libraries and museums, learning from playing and observing daily life, enjoying the simplicity of having fewer clothes and possessions, making friends quickly and selectively maintaining communication , and being a vagabond with his expatriot parents. I think we could get over the conjugal felicities and privacy issues by socializing at camp grounds and encouraging Graham's own interests and hobbies that he could do on his own. He could camp in a tent, hang out with friends, or enjoy his alone time while we need our own privacy. Home schooled children are typically more mature and more similar to their parents, but we would listen if his plans and desires are different than ours. If he does become tired of the gypsy lifestyle, then we could interrupt the travelling for him to attend a traditional school and John and I could continue the adventures when Graham goes to college. We'll still be young enough.

The idea of selling my Mustang sucks, but it is not really practical for a car seat or family. Having a Westy would be amazing though. I'll probably do some more research and attempt to drive a stick shift before actually taking the first leap of selling my Stang.

Saying No

For anyone who has or has babysat a toddler before, you can probably relate to feeling like a broken record. "No! Don't! No no." It seems as though the more you say it, the more the child does not pay attention. But when you turn around from washing dishes and notice your toddler is digging something out of the trash, it's really difficult to not shout in disgust or dissaproval. From my brief experience of watching a toddler, I have figured out a few ways to prevent the behavior and the reaction of "No!"

1. Offer an alternative
A toddler digging into the cabinets to play with pots and pans probably has a toy in his or her room that he or she would enjoy more. Instead of getting a toy for the toddler, take their hand and walk them to their toy chest. This shows them that they can come get a toy when they want to play.

2. Let them "help"
Toddlers are observant of the daily routines such as folding laundry and putting shoes in a certain place. When you have to do your chores, ask for your little ones help. Of course, be prepared for the toddler to unfold the laundry you just folded, but I prefer a little patience and fun while doing chores than constantly turning to see what they are getting into.

3. Notice attention seeking behavior
My niece would intentionally hit her head on the computer desk if someone was using the computer. She was letting me know that I was not being attentive enough. Children may misbehave just to get your attention.

4. Be interactive
A bored toddler is more likely to get into something they aren't supposed to be playing with. A toddler can play on their own, but they also enjoy the interaction of you sitting on the floor with them to play with their toys.

I am not suggesting to eliminate the use of the word "no". Children should know when they have done something wrong or bad, but "no" is not the only way to teach proper behavior. An adult does not want to be told no all the time, and neither do children. Caregivers could use that word less often to have a more powerful effect when it needs to be used.

Sontek + Gypsy = Graham

Few of our friends have heard the timeline of our relationship without some expression of shock. John and I met in June 2010, when I couchsurfed with him, his roommate Tom, and their friend Miles. I only stayed two nights at their place in Pensacola and did not exchange phone numbers with John, despite feeling an amazing connection, because I did not think we would see each other again. A tragedy of travelling is that you often form great friendships with people who are going in another direction. However, a few days after returning to Atlanta, we had exchanged phone numbers over Facebook and were losing track of the hours that we spent on the phone together daily.

In July, I returned to Pensacola with the intention of getting my SCUBA certification and seeing John again. As our phone conversations became longer and more frequent (often killing our cell phone batteries before the conversation ended), the time until we would see each other again felt longer instead of shorter. Before I returned to Pensacola, I was already planning for him to meet my parents. Only a couple days were needed together in Pensacola before we were both sure that our long distance chemistry was also real when we were physically together. We decided to move in together.

We moved into a two bedroom apartment in midtown Atlanta on September 1, 2010. Two weeks of living together was sufficient for us to go the courthouse and apply for our marriage licence. We eloped on my 22nd birthday, September 17, 2010. Both of my mother's daughters were married in 2010, without a wedding.

In October, we relocated back to Pensacola to help care for our 13 month niece. We suddenly had a toddler to babysit 9 hours a day, five days a week. I struggled with keeping up with her diaper changes, bathing her, preparing her food, keeping her out of the trash and dog food, discouraging hitting and throwing, etc... The job got easier, but not before learning that our own child's heart was beating inside me. Learning that we were going to be full time parents encouraged John and I to research childhood development and parenting. Forums, books, blogs, and Youtube videos became my leisure activity, while our niece was down for a nap or busy eating in her high chair. By the time John's sister could resume her parenting responsibilities two days before Christmas, we had gotten significantly better at caring for a toddler.

So now our little boy Graham is on the way. We hope to home school him so that we can travel. John and I are mild expatriots, extreme adrenaline junkies, and fervent believers in learning from travels and experiences. I am excited about raising a gypsy child.